I Declare...

Like most Americans, I am considering running for the Republican nomination for President. Usually when you run for President, you want to avoid saying anything that would offend anyone, which means you should avoid saying anything at all. This year, however, the only hope of winning the Republican nomination is to make your opinions crystal clear. So here goes:

• Climate Change. I'm for it. Obama was for change when he ran the first time, so in general I'm against it, except as described below, but he was against climate change so I'm for it.
• The Flag. I'm for it.
• Federal Government. I'm against it. I would repeal the U.S. Constitution, except we should keep the Second Amendment that guarantees the right to shoot guns and also the Supreme Court would be needed to protect the Second Amendment and for other reasons (see below). Because there would be no Congress or President, members of the Supreme Court would need to be appointed by the Evangelical Ministerial Association.
• Coloreds. I'm against them. Obama is one for sure and I'm against Obama. Coloreds are taking over everywhere so we should stop them. With all the intermarriage these days, it can be hard to say for sure who is colored and who is not. Here is where modern computer technology can help. It should be possible to create a high tech device that accurately measures skin color. You will need to be careful about getting too much tan but exposure to sun causes skin cancer so you should be avoiding it anyway. The Supreme Court can administer this program (see above).
• Immigration. See previous item.
• Women. I'm for them.
• Feminists. I'm against them.
• Education. I'm for it, except it should be run by the Supreme Court (see above).
• Corporations. I'm for them.
• Debt. I'm against it.
• Taxes. Don't get me started.

So there it is. With this platform I'm virtually guaranteed to win the Republican nomination. If I got the Republican nomination, I couldn't possibly win the Presidency, though, because there are too many coloreds, but I'm for abolishing the Presidency anyway.

So I guess you're stuck with Hillary for now, but it's only temporary because the End Times are coming.

Hallelujah!

American Mobs

Civil disorder is part of our national character. As Americans we believe that civil disorder can be an appropriate and necessary response to perceived injustice. It was an important aspect of the American Revolution and it's practically part of the Constitution. The right to resort to civil disorder is the motivation for the Second Amendment that guarantees the right to keep and bear arms.

The civil unrest in Ferguson, Missouri is neither unusual nor surprising when seen against the long history of hundreds of incidents of civil disorder going back more than two hundred years--more than one a year since the birth of the nation. For the complete list, see this Wikipedia article. Here are a few of the more notorious mob actions:

• Shay's Rebellion (1786)
• Whiskey Rebellion (1791)
• Cincinnati Riots (1829)
• Philadelphia Nativist Riots (1844)
• Bloody Monday (1855)
• New York Draft Riots (1863)
• Haymarket Riot (1886)
• May Day Riots (1894)
• Atlanta Riot (1906)
• Red Summer (1919)
• Battle of the Overpass (1937)
• Zoot Suit Riots (1943)
• Battle of Hayes Pond (1953)
• Watts Riots (1965)
• Wounded Knee (1973)
• Tampa Riots (1987-1992)
• University of Maryland Riot (2002)
• Springfest Riot (2010)
• Bundy Rebellion (2014)

Less than half were race riots and some of the earlier race riots were whites attacking blacks.

I added the Bundy Rebellion from earlier this year though it may not qualify as a riot because no actual violence occurred due to the federal government backing off from armed confrontation. The Wikipedia list doesn't include the Boston Tea Party or the American Revolution itself, perhaps because it includes only incidents that occurred after the United States was formally declared in 1781.